Amber has been doing this hillariously a couple times now. I find it hysterical. I'm going to have a go, but probably do a bad job of it. This is, of course, based on the wonderful work of our friends at The Onion.
On an idiot PC Magazine post, editor Lance Ulanoff claims that MySpace, SecondLife and Twitter are all doomed. What do YOU think? Are these services all going to go belly-up in the next 2.5 years?
Ryann McSprankle, 29-year old Pokemon Cheat/Hint Professional
Hey! Mr. Ulanoff said that these services would be dead by the end of the decade! The decade doesn't end until January 1, 2011. That gives him 3.5 years to be right, not 2.5. Who's the idiot now?
Tranny Wind, 2-year old avatar and virtual land barron
SecondLife is already dead. The day that they made point-to-point teleportating possible, it became so unrealistic that all the fun just left. Beign able to "click" to any location in the world is just unrealistic. You should have to fly there or ride a chicken-headed friend.
Arthur "Che" Lowenstein, Professor of Internet and Metaphor, Yale
The PC Magazine assessment is correct, but for the wrong reasons. Teh entire Internets is doomed. By July 14, 2009, the Internet will be replaced by wireless devices known as "radios" whose use requires no permanent, fixed location.
Tinkybell Cuteypie, Princess of MySpace Bling and Hugs
Oh, you! Mr. Ulanof, I totaly luv yer page! Friend me for 200 Bling Pionts!
Ambrr (Just Ambrr), Hot Single 4-2-meet-U
Regardless of the specific platform, it is clear from the rapid growth and continued utility of these social networking sites that users value the connective and mediative activities enabled thereon. Whether or not these particular examples will remain monetized through the early years of the next decade may have more to do with established media managers finding ways to competently harnass the public's urge to create and connect than with the profitability of any given property. Also, my Web-cam shows are at 7:45, 9:15 and 11:30pm (Pacific).
I'm grokking yer falling rating!