Sunday, August 26, 2007

The 7 Deadly Sins of Blogging

A friend of mine loves wikis but hates blogs. Wikis are for getting things done. Blogs are for self-involved blather. So I was greatly pleased that she, while joking around last month, inadvertently provided me a topic for a post: The Seven Deadly Sins of Blogging. Here we go.

Lust: Thou desirest link love at all costs. Not for the righteous joy of having pleased another with thy writing, but solely for the inbound traffic. Trackbacks also thou have left like chocolate and flowers on the mantel of thy desire for page views.

Gluttony: The lady doth posteth too much, methinks. Worthy thy words may be, but in excess flow they become as so much trifling spew. A picture is worth 1000 words; but the picture that your 1,000 words is worth may be this.

Greed: Thy blog's otherwise lovely face is marred by the gross, green eyes of Google Ads. You get less traffic than Bea Arthur immitators! You have 12 regular readers and 1 comment on your last 25 posts! Rid thyself of the false hope of making beer money from thy blog!

Sloth: Thou hast not posted in three months. We have given up on thee. Thou art banished from our RSS feeds.

Wrath: It is thy blog, indeed. But venting they spleen openly over; thy ex-girlfriend, ex-boss, job interviews, least-favorite WoW class, political enemies, or Disney musical is just pissy and (even worse) boring. Thou soundeth small and whiny, as the target of they wrath pro'ly ain't gonna comment on your stupid, %$#@! blog, you maggot.

Envy: If thou findest a good link elsewhere, and do not give credit, thou art a turd. Failure to give credit is a sign of blog envy, for thou wishest, clearly, that thy brain was as big as the originator of thy pilfered post. Downright plagiarism? For that, thou shalt get thee to hell.

Pride: Father of all sins. Guess what? Nobody cares about thy blog. If thou thinkest that blogging makes thee the shiznit, thou art a loon. Blog because it makes you a better writer, helps you keep track of your days, brings you a few Web buddies. Blog to get it off your chest (without wrath, please). Blog for your own enjoyment. But blog in humility.

No comments:

Post a Comment