Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Spammers go to Hell

I have a liberal philosophy about hell. Or at least an odd one... We can go into it in detail some other day, but it boils down to a loving God that gives people every chance possible to accept the benefits of love, forgiveness, mercy, grace, friendship, sharing, peace and understanding. If you want those things, you get to live forever with Him and with other people who want those things. Obviously, if you don't want those things you don't need to accept them, and you go somewhere else.

Classically, we've called that place, "Hell." There's a "game theory" version of religion that has some invisible monitor counting up sins vs. good deeds, and, in the end, you get a ticket or a pill and you might be surprised with the outcome:

"What? I'm going to Hell? Oh, crap! I didn't realize that poking my brother right near his head and whispering, 'I'm not touching you... I'm not touching you...' was such a big deal! Jeez-o-Pete... WHAT??!! Saying 'Jeez-o-Pete' counts as swearing!!??? Dang. I do belong in Hell..."

I don't believe in the game-theory version of Hell. I believe it's an obvious choice. Same as the choices here on Earth, but more obvious. You know, like Paul said: something about us seeing though a glass darkly, but afterward, all shall be made clear. So -- now, here, today, the benefits of doing good are sometimes... fuzzy. We want conflicting things. And some of them may "seem" good, even though we know they aren't "really" good. We have the choice to do all manner of bad stuff, from wee little piddly Jeez-o-Pete stuff, up to great evil on a momentous scale. I believe that how we live our lives now prepares us for how that choice will seem to us when it is made "more clearly" come the veil be torn assunder.

If we consistently choose to do evil, then good will look like a bad choice. Being in a place full of lovey-dovey, hugs-r-us, earthy-crunchy, tell-me-all-your-problems, everything-is-forgiven types for eternity would look like... what? to someone who has indulged a life of complete self-centeredness and contempt for others. It would look like... Hell!

So. Maybe the place is just one place. Maybe to good people, who have lived a life of love and forgiveness, spending eterninty in a place where that is the norm is called "Heaven" and seems like music on clouds. Maybe to bad people, who have lived a life where love feels like being invaded and forgiveness is a kind of judgement, that feels like pitchforks and fire.

Either way, spammers go to Hell. Period.

I got 24 pieces of comment spam yesterday. So...

I've just installed "Did You Pass Math," a neat little captcha-like utility that will ask you to solve a 2nd grade addition problem (2 + 4 or such) before completing your comment. I like it better than the words-in-pictures, because those utilities require me to install two plugins (one for the captcha, one for the image translation), so this one passes the Occam's Coding Razor tests of "Sweet!" "Lazy!" and "Elegant!" We'll see if it works.

In the meantime... you spammers out there would do well to consider how your souls will fare in the everlasting backwash of eternity.

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