TinkerX

June 04th, 2008 | Category: poetry, Writing

Bad Pun

he defines “untied”
as “tied to nothing”

no hope of hope
no jump into a lake of cool
sweet summer peace
no rope swing leap
from earth to air to water

boys fly free

men tire
mourn
hang rubber
on a dying tree

5 Comments so far

Douglas Galbi June 4th, 2008 11:07 pm

Nice. But the title seems too bluntly meta-poetic. How about “Bad Fun” instead?
Andy Havens June 6th, 2008 10:17 am

Doug… yeah. It’s not a great title. Usually I love writing titles of poems, as they’re like tiny little poems about the poems. Which is kinda meta.

I did want the reader to know I was purposefully punning, and that it was purposefully “bad,” not as in, “That’s a bad pun,” but, as you say, it’s just a bad thing.

Will meditate on this.
Matt Gilliard July 23rd, 2008 1:34 pm

I gotta say, this is neat little poem. You captured some of the compression of growing up here. It brings back some good memories of summer and reminds me that I’m not young anymore.
Andy July 24th, 2008 2:00 pm

Thanks Matt. “Compression” is a nice term… the older I get, the more “compressed” my life seems.

Perhaps I need some blow-in foam insulation…
Matt Gilliard July 24th, 2008 4:14 pm

I’ve been trying to write again after a fairly long hiatus, and reading your work is helping a bit. I really think I need another one of those Havens-special exercises to force me onto some path or another.

I think I ended up feeling topped out after writing “A Prayer For Rust” so long ago, and the muse has been fickle ever since.

Good to see you still out there plugging away.